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Pracitcal Tips for Being Friends

Monday, April 26, 2010

Why don't kids affect men's friendships?

Can you imagine what it would be like for two women who are friends and get together every week for 18 years and not know the names of the other's children? It would be on Planet Never Would Happen. Because I find that women I barely know, whose children I have never met, assume I must know all their kids names, ages, and their allergies to peanuts.

Jeffrey Zaslow of the The Wall Street Journal, however, doesn't have to imagine what this is like among his male friends. He recently wrote an article about mens' friendships. In it he mentions that his good buddy, Lance, who he has played poker with every week for 18 years, has no idea what the names of Jeffrey's kids are.

Now I am not saying that men's friendships are any better or worse than women's. They are just different. And I think the biggest difference is that when a man becomes a dad, he does not instantly become friends exclusively with other dads. He will probably gravitate a bit more towards men with children. But he will be just as happy to drink some beers while watching the ball game with his buddies without ever feeling compelled to discuss diapers, getting into the right pre-schools, or anything else to do with kids. In fact, while dads love their kids, sometimes they want to get away and enjoying hanging out with their friends like they did in the Days Before Kids.

Moms, don't you want to do this, too? And who better to help you enjoy a Days Before Kids outing than the experts themselves, your childfree friends? So take a friendship tip from the Wall Street Journal. Leave the kid talk at home and come out and play with your girlfriends. And don't worry, if you happen to mention your kids, at least we will know their names.